Marriage? Should We Do It Now?

Getting older is something we can’t avoid. When our age has reached 25, people start to panic regarding to maturity. Often times, people issue that we have been officially mature when we have stepped ahead to a marriage. Somehow, marriage is fine as it has been a need for every individual who initiates to do so. It is because in my country, living together without having legal status is claimed as an illegal relationship which is taboo. A few people come to a decision to a marriage just because they want to have an acknowledgement from society that they have a legal status as husband and wife so they can live together and do what they are allowed to do such as sexual intercourse. Some other people may assume that they are in need of getting married because they think they are no longer young. These people formulate the considerations of it by the age, regardless their psychological states, maturity, and readiness. The other reason is caused by the jealousy. These people feel jealous of their friends’ status that are not single anymore. So, there is a thing whispering their mind to marry very soon, if not, they are scared of getting mocked by their friends and labelled by such a judgment that nobody loves him/her. So, these circumstances lead people to fear of being single without understanding the reasons why they do that. The point of the article is to focus on a certain of people who might not put marriage as the first priority in life as they have different views on it.

I do believe that people have developed time to time. The needs, culture, and ideology have changed as well. People were probably in a hurry to get married soon when they considered they were old enough, but now it’s totally different. Society has been more progressive. They have to attempt to understand each diversity on why people might put marriage as a priority and not. This very basic understanding is occasionally forgotten by them because they fancy to the comparison between past and present time which is actually inappropriate to compare. Sadly to say, most parents also like to urge their children to follow what they believe in without even asking for their readiness to do so. In result, some of them just let go their dreams, principal, ideology just because they don’t want to fight for their parents. This phenomenon happens repeatedly and nobody can stop it as it has been rooted in our culture.

Honestly, the facts make me tearful. It affects me because I have a lot of friends who live with their traditional family members who keep implanting the idea to get married. My question is why people can’t feel okay with any decision made in terms of marriage. Some other people may decide to postpone to proceed to a marriage because they want to gain lots of experiences first. These people might believe that the biggest achievement in life is when experiences are in their hands. Are they wrong? Many people are so judgmental by saying that that way is not right. In this case, respecting what people believe in is a must. Judging them in such a bad way only makes them hurt. They might think to pursue their dreams first, such as higher educations, good career, or running a business in the first place so they have a better future, nevertheless it doesn’t mean that they neglect to marry. It doesn’t mean they ignore their religion views saying that marriage is an obligation. Just be respectful! They are not as evil as what you think after all.

Another situation might be also different. A large number of people probably have another point of view in terms of life’s goals. Having seen the conditions of their family which may be not wealthy, so they are determined to work hard. Their set goals are to improve the economic conditions of their family first, such as renovating their houses, buying some things for their family, helping people, and many more. Under that conditions, they tend to think to not marry before their family’s condition has been safe. The happiness for these kind of people are when they see a smile on their family members, not when they are on the stage shaking hands with people congratulating them for their marriage. Would you say that they are so poor? It’s not because they reject the offer of getting married, however the condition that tells them to postpone it later on, and we have to respect what they do for sure.

It may sound ridiculous as well. There are some people who think to not marry soon because they still want to perceive the fun of being single. Basically, it has to do with responsibilities that they have to carry after marriage. Men, in particular, are obliged to be the leader who sail their family to the success. If not, divorce, poverty, sadness, may come to ruin them. Therefore, it needs a great deal of readiness to confront such situations. We don’t know when the level of readiness goes up and down, in case it never goes up, does it mean they have made a bad decision? Well, again, we are free to choose the best way to live in this life. Yet, people come to start arguing that they are insane due to the decision they have made to not marry soon just because their readiness is still immature. Then what? Will it be better to step ahead to a marriage even though we are not ready? Will the happiness follow us? Having seen the condition of people trapped in an area where they are sued to do something they might not want to do that immediately, there is another story where women are so gloomy as they keep judging themselves bad people because nobody intends to propose them. It is a unique phenomenon after all. Having seen their friends’ status changed, they panic to be bullied by their peers. Is this the happiness they want to achieve so far?

In conclusion, we want to be happy no matter what and marriage is one of steps to reach that. Yet, sometimes we have to be open-mind to read the situations fairly by not judging people easily before knowing what is actually happening to them as it might hurt them indeed. We all agree that marriage is a positive thing to undergo, yet we also have to understand to any considerations made by some people who probably put marriage on the second or third priority after they have finished the other things that might be more urgent or after they totally feel ready with their mentality.  

(picture is taken from google)